I really wonder what I did wrong?

I sometimes really wonder what I really did wrong and how you can love someone so much but they choose to let you go? It's really heartbreaking having to deal with the same situation day in and day out and always feeling confused about were you stand because one minute he loves you and the next minute your something else. Life is so unfair sometimes, the person you love the most is the one that hurts you the most. I've been running around in circles wondering why we can never get it right? I do all I can to make him see that our life together would be a happy one because he would have all of me and I'd be forever doing what makes him as happy as he makes me.The moment he calls you something else, your heart sinks and leaves you wondering why after all we have shared, he has to be so cold? To tell you he loves you and the next to call you something else. How can someone be so confused or are they just stringing you along, how long is this supposed to last, should you have closed the door or just give him more time because some people are so slow? But have you not given him enough time already? Loving him truly can be so cold and letting him call you something else is just a weakness in the depth of your soul because you can't put your foot down and say, "No I have had enough!"

I thought of you the other day

I thought of you the other day
The way it used to be
The way you told me you loved me the first time
And the way we held hands, hugged and kissed
How that all went away
The way it all changed
Even the way you used to look at me
I remember that place
And the sweet things you used to say
Now I don't even know the place or space
I'm in right now
Is it real or something,
I built to shield the pain?
This bubble that shields the pain
I thought of you the other day
As tears streamed down
The hollow apples of my cheeks
The way you laugh, the jokes you used to say
That became phrases of everyday
I thought of you the other day
And the day you loved me
And when it all went away
Smiles turned to tears
And tears turned to aching pain
Oh how things have changed
How you have changed me
How you have changed you
But today is just another day
That will become thoughts of you
I will call
The other day

Par/By Chiedza Mebe

Moving on

So the day you see the man you love and then you realize that life is not so bad without them. You miss them yes, but what can you do if they don't want to hold you the way that you want to hold them? It really hurts sometimes but they want to go on with their lives without you. I just hope that moving on for them won't be something they will regret later on. I guess although I'm moving on I am still waiting patiently. Moving on doesn't mean you don't love them anymore.

Lessons learnt from Khanyi

I recently read Bitch Please I'm Khanyi Mbau and if I have to be honest I quite enjoyed it. I may be a little biased because I admire her guts but the book was really a page turner. Khanyi deserves a round of applause because she isn't trying to justify herself and she tells it like it is. She's someone who likes the finer things and did what she wanted to get it. It might not have been the right way to do it but she knew what she was getting into so who are we too judge her? Some of her lines about the ordinary folk were shocking but she probably just had the guts to say what other people think of but don't say it out like that. Khanyi's story also revealed her vulnerable side and I kind of feel bad for her after all she's only human. I'm surprised at how much I can relate to her and I'm sure we not the only two people in the world to make mistakes or get hurt. Her lessons on love and relationships spoke volumes to me and I really understood her and I'm sure other girls can too.

My favourite quotes include - "It's not my fault your poor. Just write the ticket."
                                           "It's always the people we let in that destroy us."
                                            "You lose yourself when he breaks your heart. The love goes away. You wait  
                                              with baited breath to get him out of your system so you can live again."
                                            "It's up to me to make sure that the next person I get naked with is someone
                                             fully mine. Someone who is one flesh with me so that if they harm me, they
                                             only harm themselves."

Merry Christmas

Some people may take away our joy but Christmas reminds us that the Lord Jesus Christ makes all that we have possible. Merry Christmas to all of you and remember to smize

Durban Rocks

Its been months since my dream to go to Durban popped into my head and finally I got to go. I enjoyed five great days in Durban with my friends Alex and Yvonne. It had me asking what else could a girl ask for? The day we arrived we hit the nightlife of Durban at BLVD the famous Boulevard Lounge/Club on Florida road. We met the best bartenders ever who gave us so many free rounds it was amazing. Plus all the great music to dance too while sipping on Cosmo's made it all worthwhile. The headache however the next day was excruciating but just serves to show that it was the place to be. The following day we headed to the beach and it was breathtaking  its different all the time, frolicking in the water and trying to catch the biggest wave. The famous rickshaw rides at Ushaka beach truly made me feel like a Zulu princess. Royalty if you know what I mean. Ushaka Marine World is one place you cannot leave Durban without experiencing. There is so much to offer. Too bad for me we got there late and I couldnt enjoy Shark diving but there was still so much for me to do. I had a blast. We endulged in sea food, Italian food and so much more on our stay. I sure did gain a few pounds but its all worth it. Since I was living le good life. Another place I visited was Pietermaritzburg where we enjoyed lots of wine all night. Our last day in Durban included movies and every girls dream shopping. It was sad to say goodbye but it was also good to get back home. These are memories I will hold dear all thanks to my mum and friends.

Will he understand

Source:crazy4me.com

When I'm in your arms

I often wonder if it's time to say goodbye now

And think of the man who isnt afraid to love me
When will he walk through the door
When will he be more of a man
Will he understand
That I'm not like most people
Will he understand
My passion or my drive
Or will he be overwhelmed by it
Will he understand
That I do what I like when I want
That I say what I say cause I can
Will he understand
That I like a drink or two
Will he understand
That I don't want to be hurt
And that I cry sometimes
Even behind my smiles
Will he understand
That he will never be like you
Will he